Perasaan ini aneh, tapi I’ll try to describe here (:
So, a few days ago I got something to do and got me so excited about it. I laugh about it, I think about it, and focus my thought on it. And a sudden after that moment I realize that I don’t remember about my feelings for him, it just like disappear all of the sudden. Feels like something release in my mind.
The days before I cant stop thinking about him and a little bit annoyed me. I keep wondering how he’s now, is he happy with his life now, is he thinking of me, is he miss me like I miss him, is he felt like I felt about him.. And not just on “wonder”, I also hope that he miss me, he keep thinking about me, and worst.. I hope he change his mind and back to me. At this moment I keep force myself to hold on, and keep in mind that this gonna be over soon.
After I felt I cant remember my feelings for him like before, I realize something.. Hey, maybe this also what he’s felt and he already felt it far before me. He’s an expert, so must be easier for him. And I just feel stupid for my “wonder” and “hope” for him. I smile at this moment.
Not stop at that moment, at night I look his pic at his Facebook, and this is true, the feeling was so different. What I feel about him before and what I feel about him when I saw his pictures at that day. What I felt before maybe just some kind of delusion that stuck me in.
Or maybe my each cells at my body already release the memories about him. Not meet him at all, no contact, doesn’t know his update or news.. this help my cells of body regenerate fast I think.
Well, I dont know what actually happen to me, but I think I’m ready to fly (: