Category Archives: Uncategorized

[UNCUT] Debate on Existence of God: Professor vs Student named ‘Einstein’

Stories about atheist professors being bested by true believers who did have answers at the ready are both ventings of this frustration and expressions of delight in finally seeming to have been armed with deft responses to fling back. Now, let’s revisualize the above dialogue rationally. Where major editing is done, the justification is given in (parentheses).

Dialogue with a young theist (longer version)

A philosophy professor challenged his students with a form of the Euthyphro dilema: Did ‘God’ create everything that exists?”

A student replied, “Yes, he did!” (The ‘bravely’ part is removed: civil disagreement is the very point of philosophy courses, no bravery is required for dissent! Civil dissent is rewarded! Agreement is the death of philosophy, disagreement is its life’s blood.)

“God created everything?” the professor asked.

“Yes,” the student replied. (The ‘sir’ part is removed: no college student in the 21st century addresses a college professor as ‘sir’ – which demonstrates that whoever it was that made up the original story never went to college. In addition, the use of ‘sir’ is just a pretense of ‘respect’ – it comes off as passive aggressive anger more than anything else.)

The professor answered, “Well then, here’s a logical puzzle for you: If God created everything, then God created evil; Therefore, according to the principal that ‘our works define who we are’, ‘God’ is evil.”

The student became silently enraged over his worldview being ‘attacked’. He began to project out his feelings of inadequecy as smugness coming from the professor.

The student then said: “Can I ask you a question professor?”

“Of course,” replied the professor. That’s the point of philosophical discourse. (The writer of the original story clearly has little experience with a real college classroom. The whole point of a philosophy or theology course is to foster discussion.)

Student: “Is there such thing as heat?”

Professor: “Yes,” the professor replies.

Student: “Is there such a thing as cold?”

Professor: “Yes, there’s cold too.”

Student: “No, there isn’t”

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The Single Life We Have

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It’s odd, thinking about death while being an atheist. To understand that afterward, you are simply not.

Dawkins and Hitchens both know that what is coming is permanent. There is no happy ending, with no chance of reunion or redemption in some other plane. Death will be a final parting, permanent and absolute.

In that embrace, it’s not just that Hitchens means a great deal to Dawkins. It’s knowing that soon, they’ll be separated by eternity. And yet, in infinite time and space, two motes of consciousness, against unfathomable odds, simply had the opportunity to enjoy a brief lucidity of life and touch each other in some small way before returning forever to the endless naught.

Honestly, there is absolutely nothing more important than the realization that this life, the single life we have, is all and everything that we will ever have; when it’s over, it’s over. In a way, it gives life more sanctity and meaning than any religion could dream.

Hai, Apa Kabarmu?

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I guess it’s gonna have to hurt,
I guess I’m gonna have to cry.
And let go of some things I’ve loved,
To get to the other side.
I guess it’s gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly.
It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life…

Starts with goodbye.

One of the most painful goodbyes is,
When you know that the next time you meet,
The hello wont be the same.

…………….

Tetes-tetes air mulai berjatuhan dari udara, nampaknya ia sudah tidak kuat menahan beban yang harus dibawanya, hembusan angin kencang membawanya ke permukaan kerak bumi dan tanpa basa-basi membasahi diriku. Sekejap pemandangan di bawah langit pun berubah, terkadang ia seperti memberikanmu hidup, memberikanmu aroma alam yang hanya sesaat saja dapat kamu nikmati, memberikanmu perasaan teduh dan siratannya berkata kalau ia ada bukan untuk menyusahkanmu melainkan hanya petanda dari hadirat alam. Terkadang ia juga mampu menenggelamkan sisi-sisi emosi di dalam dirimu, membuatnya menjadi kelabu, membuatmu merasa terpisah dari dunia, jauh, jauh.. dan sendiri.

Hai, apa kabarmu?

Apakah hari-harimu kini lebih baik? Apakah senyum sudah kembali dibibirmu dan dia dapat membuatmu tertawa kembali? Aku berharap kamu sudah bisa lebih bahagia di hari ini, dimana hari-hari sudah bukan lagi menjadi musuhmu dan kamu sudah dapat melewati setiap harinya tanpa menghitung pergantian waktu yang terus berputar. Aku berharap semangatmu sudah kembali hari ini, karena di hari ini kamu sudah dapat melewati hari-hari tanpa ada pilihan yang membebanimu. Aku berharap airmata sudah tidak lagi mengalir membasahi wajahmu, karena kamu sudah dapat hidup sebagaimana yang kamu inginkan. Aku berharap bayang-bayang diriku sudah tidak menghantuimu kemana pun dirimu pergi lagi, walaupun aku juga berharap agar aku tidak kamu lupakan. Aku berharap waktu-waktu malam sudah tidak lagi menganggumu dan kamu sudah dapat menghampiri mimpi tanpa kegelisahan di setiap lelap malammu sebelum mentari melangkah dengan senyumnya dari belahan timur. Telah lewat 30 hari perputaran waktu terbit dan tenggelam, dan perjalanan ini membawa dirimu semakin menjauh, sudahkah aku hilang dari radarmu, hai apa kabarmu?

Di akhir hari yang sudah terlalui yang kuingat adalah wajahmu yang terlihat lelah, perjuangan mungkin telah mengerogoti raut bahagianya menyisakan air wajah yang redup redam. Aku berharap wajah itu sudah tidak ada lagi, tergantikan oleh senyum kebebasan dan pelukan-pelukan hangat yang sempat tidak ada karena.. aku, karena kehadiranku.

Terkadang pikiran ini takut, takut jika aku tidak akan lebih bahagia daripadamu nanti dan harga diriku mulai mengharapkanmu hidup dengan duri dalam hatimu sampai dirimu menjadi abu. Pikiran ini juga takut, takut jika bertemu dan melihat dirimu bahagia merangkul kebebasanmu, bahagia tanpa aku, sehingga tubuh ini mulai berlari kencang untuk menjadi lebih bahagia. Aku tahu, ketakutanku hanyalah penghalang bagi kakiku untuk melangkah jauh, dan ketidakbahagiaanmu hanya akan membuat hati ini meronta tak rela untuk pergi. Sehingga aku melepaskan dan merelakannya untuk pergi, membiarkannya terbang mendekati langit, menukarnya dengan tetesan hujan yang berjatuhan dan berharap untuk melihatmu bahagia agar aku bisa pergi dengan senyum kelegaan.

Jagalah dirimu baik-baik, agar ia jangan kembali digerogoti oleh parasit-parasit tubuh sehingga menyusahkan kamu di usia senjamu nanti. Banyak-banyaklah tertawa agar membuatmu lupa untuk mengikiskan kedua gigimu. Jangan lupakan rambutmu yang sudah mulai menua. Apakah kamu sudah membersihkan kotoran ditelingamu hari ini?

Jagalah dirimu baik-baik, apa yang kamu makan, apa yang kamu minum, apa yang kamu lakukan. Karena aku masih ingin melihatmu di lima atau sepuluh tahun mendatang, melihatmu bahagia. Jika mungkin.. Jika garis perjalanan kita masih bersinggungan.

Aku dan kamu pernah tertawa bersama, saling berbagi kebahagiaan bersama, saling belajar bersama, saling mengisi hari-hari bersama, berbagi cerita, berbagi pengertian, berbagi tangis, saling berpelukan, saling menyakiti, menyerah, dan mengucapkan selamat tinggal.

Maafkan aku yang sudah sedikit melupakanmu di hari-hari ini.

Hai, apa kabarmu?

What Freedom Means To Women

What it is like to be a Muslim woman, and why we know what freedom is (and you may not)

source: http://aveilandadarkplace.com/2013/07/01/what-it-is-like-to-be-a-muslim-woman-and-why-we-know-what-freedom-is/

I have keys.

When I first moved to the United States eleven months ago, it took me several weeks to grasp this bit of information.

I have keys.

I have keys to my own front door and I can open this front door and walk down the street whenever I want to.

I can walk down the street without being watched through the windows and without anyone calling my parents and telling them I am roaming loose on the street.

I can walk down the street, sit down on a bench under a tree, and eat an iced cream cone. Then I can stand up and walk back home.

There will be nobody waiting for me at my house to ask me where I have been, refuse to let me in, call me a liar, and use my walk as renewed incentive to rifle through all of my possessions for proof that I am doing something wrong.

Because the simple desire to take a walk cannot but hide something deviant.

Because there is no good reason why a woman should want to walk down the street just to walk, and expose herself to the questioning and predatory eyes of the neighbors and strange men.

I have keys to my front door, now, and I can open my front door and walk down the street whenever I want to.

In the first weeks when I was in the United States, I had so much fear and trembling at this freedom. I stayed in my apartment alone during my first two days in my new home, and when I did finally venture out, I checked to make sure my keys and ID and wallet were in my purse a thousand times. I wore long, flowing dresses and tied my hair up in a scarf even though it was August and very hot, even though I am an atheist who happens to find no personal value in modesty, even though I was not going out to meet anybody and knew not a single man in town, even though I tried to convince myself that in this land it wouldn’t matter if I was. I looked around every corner and checked over my shoulder in case my father was somehow watching, lurking.

It took a couple of months to stop expecting to see my father in a place I was going or coming from.

I soon got into the groove of my new life, my new graduate program, my teaching and department readings and events. I actually went to bars and stopped feeling guilty about it. I met people. I made friendships, some of them with men, none of them that I had to hide or lie about. I had sexual and romantic relationships.

And all this while, and even now, it sometimes feels like I am another person living a distant dream. A phantom woman. A woman who is only pretending to do things and be things that were never hers.

Even now, I sometimes cannot believe I am not hallucinating all of this from a dark room in Beirut.

Even now, I wake up from dreams of Lebanon and think, “I have my own place. My front door. MY key. And I can open the door and walk out into the street? Whenever I want? And I have MY papers and MY things and MY income? And I can just go somewhere. When I want? I can do this?”

It must be a sick joke.

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Crossroads

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“The paths you choose now can affect you forever. So here you are. You’re young. You’re free. You have your whole life before you. You’re standing at the crossroads of life and you have to choose which paths to take. The paths you choose today can shape you forever. It’s both frightening and exciting that we have to make so many vital decisions when we are here, but such it’s life.

We are free to choose our paths, but we can’t choose the consequences that come with them. You can choose which slide you want to go down, but once you sliding you can’t very well stop. You must live with the consequences.. to the end.”

Aku, Kamu, Kita

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“Aku ingin seperti ini selamanya.”

“Selamanya?”

“Aku, kamu, dan kita..”

 

Aku, kamu, dan kita. Tertawa dan berbagi cerita, menjelajah pikiran dan menelusuri detik-detik berlalu, bercengkrama dalam hening dan bertukar kebaikan. Sudah berapa lama kita bersama? Melewati hari-hari tanpa saling memberikan beban, menerawang lukisan masa depan, mengulurkan tangan untuk saling mengisi kekosongan.

Aku, kamu, dan kita. Berbagi kegirangan, menjaga batas dan saling menyembunyikan duka.

Aku ingin memberi pelukan hangat untuk kamu yang selalu mampu melewati hari-hari kerapuhan. Mengisi kekosongan dimatamu ketika ia meniti masa lalu tanpa ijinmu. Menyumbang senyum hanya untuk meyakinkan kamu tidak sendiri di perjalanan waktu.

Aku tahu anganku ini hanyalah harapan yang tidak bertuan. Aku, kamu dan kita akan berpisah ketika masing-masing jiwa ini menemukan jalan setapak yang berbeda untuk dilangkahi. Selintas terbayang pun sudah membuat denyut jantung ini bersedih, entah apakah ada ketulusan lain selain kebersamaan kata sahabat. Entah apakah ada pertalian lain yang lebih terasa berharga untuk ditinggalkan selain perkenalan antar sahabat.

Mataku pedih melihat pertalian yang tidak mengenal nilainya, ia hanya ada untuk suatu kebutuhan dan kemudian ditinggalkan ketika sudah menjadi sepah, berganti dan berlalu, tidak berharga dan hanya menjadi pijakan untuk segenggam ego berdiri ponggah diatasnya.

Aku, kamu, dan kita. Adalah cerita yang ingin selalu aku rindukan, tempat yang menjadikan aku seorang manusia. Seberapa jauhpun jiwa ini berusaha, aku tahu raga ini tidak mengenal kata berhenti untuk menjadi tua. Pada akhirnya aku, kamu dan kita akan menyerah pada tuntunan organ-organ yang terus merapuhkan dirinya tanpa lelah, sehingga aku, kamu, dan kita pada akhirnya harus.. pergi.., menelusuri jalan masing-masing, dan sampai kemudian cerita ini menjadi hilang keberhargaannya.

Merajut Cerita

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So many people become songs and poetry
But will never know;
Our world is full of the ghosts
Of unspoken words and memories.

 

Susunan cerita seolah terpenjara dalam bias krotikal di dalam pusat sistem memori ini, setiap aku hendak merangkai kata untukmu pikiranku terkaku dan diam seolah ia tidak dengan rela hati melepaskannya. Mungkin ia mengerti kalau aku ingin terus menyimpan cerita ini dan tidak mau melupakannya sehingga ia bersembunyi dan mengunci dirinya di dalam pusat amigdala sehingga ia tidak akan pernah hilang. Namun persembunyiannya membuat aku tidak bisa mendapatkan dirinya lagi, ia menghilang dah tidak dapat ditemukan. Aku mencarinya sampai terkadang membuatku pedih, aku hanya mampu menikmati sisa-sisa dirinya yang sesekali muncul dan membuatku tersenyum dengan cerita manis tersamar.

Apakah aku memang harus berhenti menulis susunan cerita tentang dirimu? Apakah aku harus mengais cerita dari catatan masa lalu? Apakah sudah waktuku untuk berhenti berduka dan melepaskannya untuk berlalu?

Diri ini hanya seonggok ego yang terkadang tidak berotak, membenturkan dirinya hanya untuk diberikan kekenyangan. Menilik peristiwa dan menelurusi cerita, hanya untuk membuat ego ini kembali terluka, menangis dan kemudian dirajut kembali. Bodoh..

Lembaran hari yang terlalui bersamamu sudah cukup membuatku tersenyum dan bahagia, sesalanku hanyalah karena aku tidak cukup mengucapkan banyak kata terima kasih dan kata sayang untukmu, bahkan tidak cukup untuk membuatmu mempercayai kata-kata tersebut dari mulutku.

Entah sampai langit dan bintang-bintang berputar dan saling bergeseran untuk yang ke berapa kalinya, gulungan isi torehan cerita ini mungkin sudah bukan mengenai dirimu lagi, ketika aku sudah kehilangan ingatan cerita dan rangkaian kata, ketika langkah kaki ini sudah tidak mampu untuk kembali, ketika raga ini menuruti bayanganmu yang selalu hadir untuk terus menyuruhku pergi dan membiarkanmu bahagia.

 

Terima kasih, sayang..

Bitter

“There’s a lot of things that we all wish we could have done differently, but if you spend too much of your life trying to change the past, your biggest regret will be that you spent your life wishing to change a ‘done’ past, when you could have been changing unwritten present and future.”

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The Mystery of Consciousness

By STEVEN PINKER
Thanks to Marc Epard for alerting us.

The young women had survived the car crash, after a fashion. In the five months since parts of her brain had been crushed, she could open her eyes but didn’t respond to sights, sounds or jabs. In the jargon of neurology, she was judged to be in a persistent vegetative state. In crueler everyday language, she was a vegetable.

So picture the astonishment of British and Belgian scientists as they scanned her brain using a kind of MRI that detects blood flow to active parts of the brain. When they recited sentences, the parts involved in language lit up. When they asked her to imagine visiting the rooms of her house, the parts involved in navigating space and recognizing places ramped up. And when they asked her to imagine playing tennis, the regions that trigger motion joined in. Indeed, her scans were barely different from those of healthy volunteers. The woman, it appears, had glimmerings of consciousness.

Try to comprehend what it is like to be that woman. Do you appreciate the words and caresses of your distraught family while racked with frustration at your inability to reassure them that they are getting through? Or do you drift in a haze, springing to life with a concrete thought when a voice prods you, only to slip back into blankness? If we could experience this existence, would we prefer it to death? And if these questions have answers, would they change our policies toward unresponsive patients–making the Terri Schiavo case look like child’s play?

The report of this unusual case last September was just the latest shock from a bracing new field, the science of consciousness. Questions once confined to theological speculations and late-night dorm-room bull sessions are now at the forefront of cognitive neuroscience. With some problems, a modicum of consensus has taken shape. With others, the puzzlement is so deep that they may never be resolved. Some of our deepest convictions about what it means to be human have been shaken.

It shouldn’t be surprising that research on consciousness is alternately exhilarating and disturbing. No other topic is like it. As René Descartes noted, our own consciousness is the most indubitable thing there is. The major religions locate it in a soul that survives the body’s death to receive its just deserts or to meld into a global mind. For each of us, consciousness is life itself, the reason Woody Allen said, “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.” And the conviction that other people can suffer and flourish as each of us does is the essence of empathy and the foundation of morality.

To make scientific headway in a topic as tangled as consciousness, it helps to clear away some red herrings. Consciousness surely does not depend on language. Babies, many animals and patients robbed of speech by brain damage are not insensate robots; they have reactions like ours that indicate that someone’s home. Nor can consciousness be equated with self-awareness. At times we have all lost ourselves in music, exercise or sensual pleasure, but that is different from being knocked out cold.
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Twisted

You don’t listen to her, you don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
‘Cause you’re taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you’re just a boy, you don’t understand

 

Often I said, what if you were in my shoes? I wish the situation were twisted just like this..

 

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Ordinary Life – Simple Plan

What happened to the someday
What happened to the dreams of a wide-eyed kid

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You Are Already A Good Man

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Torehan kata untuk apa yang akan kutuliskan adalah untuk dirimu, begitu banyak hal berharga yang tidak sempat terucapkan, begitu sayang jika menjadi beku dalam peti dingin berdebu dan tak tersampaikan. Semoga tulisan ini bisa membentuk simpul dibibirmu.

Untuk kamu dan semua pria di dunia..

Aku belajar bahwa menjadi seorang pria bukan soal menjadi seperti apa yang dunia ingin bentuk, menjadi seorang pria bukan berarti menjadi seseorang yang memenuhi semua syarat yang aku atau sekelilingku mau, menjadi seorang pria tidak sederhana dan dangkal.

Aku belajar bahwa menjadi seorang pria itu berbeda, bukan karena kulit yang lebih kasar, bulu yang lebih banyak, atau mempunyai batang kemaluan yang tidak aku miliki. Aku belajar bahwa menjadi seorang pria itu sulit bagimu, dan aku tidak akan bisa mengerti sepenuhnya.

Aku belajar bahwa dunia akan selalu melihatmu dengan legitimasi hitam dan putih, penjahat dan pahlawan, dan tidak ada toleransi keabu-abuan, walaupun kamu merasa tidak seharusnya demikian.

Aku belajar bahwa menjadi seseorang yang kuat adalah hal yang setiap hari berusaha kamu lakukan, sesuatu yang tidak bisa kamu tinggalkan, walaupun terkadang melukaimu, menyakiti hatimu atau meninggalkan bekas luka perih dan airmata.

Aku belajar bahwa separuh dari dunia ini menganggap kamu adalah penjahat kelamin, seorang yang idiot dan tempramental.

Aku belajar bahwa menjadi pria berarti menjadi seseorang yang berjuang seumur hidup untuk melepaskan diri dari pihak yang akan selalu disalahkan. Berjuang untuk dilihat sebagai pria, sebagai manusia, sebagai pribadi. Menjadi pria berarti berjuang menawan stereotype yang sudah berakar.

Aku belajar bahwa menjadi pria berarti menjadi seseorang yang selalu mempunyai ide, mempunyai jalan, dan mempunyai mimpi.

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It’s Human

In the end, your tolerance, trust, understanding and respect are nothing.

You think you know someone
and then they are suddenly a stranger to you.

In the end, you know nothing. It’s life.

Five for Fighting – What If

What if I had your heart? What if you wore my scars?
What if I told your lies? What if you cried with my eyes?
What if you were me and what if I were you?

What if your hand was my hand?
Could we hold on or let go?

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Fragment

Kosong…

Sudah beberapa hari aku terdiam, hanya menatap ruangan kosong tanpa warna warni potongan kenangan. Kosong…

Sudah berapa lama aku di sini, aku bahkan mungkin sudah tidak ingat lagi. Di sini yang aku lihat hanya kekosongan, terkadang pandangan ini buram, samar oleh bayangan gumpalan fragment-fragment dari proses lakrimasi dan aku hanya perlu memejamkan mata ini sebentar agar aku dapat melihat jelas kembali kekosongan yang ada dihadapanku.

Aku ingin mengisi kekosongan ini dengan luapan kemarahan, merasakan kembali emosi yang tertahan oleh superego sedemikian teredam hingga hanya dapat dirasakan oleh tangan dan kaki ini yang tak kasat bergetar. Aku ingin mengisi kekosongan ini dengan ketakutan, melihat kaki ini bergerak pergi menjauh, tanpa arah dan membiarkannya bertanya pada bayangan semu tak berjawab. Aku ingin mengisi kekosongan ini dengan torehan tulisan, agar semua orang dapat mengerti tanpa membenci, agar semua orang tahu dan melepaskan tangannya untuk aku.

Aku ingin mengingat semua luka dan air mata yang terjatuh di perjalanan kekosongan ini agar aku tidak pernah lagi memikirkan untuk kembali.

Let It Go! – ost. Frozen

No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Let it go, let it go. I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go. You’ll never see me cry
Here I stand. And here I stay
Let the storm rage on


I’m never going back
The past is in the past

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Dear Sahabat

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Dear Sahabat, lama tak berjumpa. Entah sudah berapa lama aku tidak menyapamu, begitupun engkau. Sepertinya kebisuan telah menjadi sahabat barumu, dia membuat dirimu lebih nyaman bersamanya daripada segala kepalsuan di dunia ini, aku mengerti. Aku membaca surat terakhir darimu, bukan untuk aku, aku tahu. Tulisan ini untuk dirimu yang tertidur nyaman bersama dengan kesendirian, aku berharap engkau tahu kalau engkau tidak sendiri.

Dear Sahabat, hati ini seperti dicengkram oleh kepahitan ketika aku membaca isi hatimu yang tidak pernah tertuliskan itu. Hatimu berteriak untuk ketidakadilan di dunia ini, menangis untuk pertanyaan yang sepertinya tidak pernah membuka jawaban untukmu, hampa untuk kekosongan yang tidak pernah engkau mengerti, dan tergores untuk hitam putih dunia yang tidak pernah mengulurkan tangannya untukmu.

Engkau seringkali bertanya pada kegelapan malam, “mengapa aku berbeda”, dan malam pun hanya terdiam. Engkau mengucapkan selamat tinggal untuk semua hal yang tidak engkau mengerti, meninggalkan semua puing-puing yang telah engkau bangun untuk kembali membangun puing-puing di atas luka hati yang sama, bergulir untuk bangkit dan kemudian hanya untuk terjatuh lagi. Engkau berenang di lautan sepi dan sendiri, mencari seseorang namun tidak ada seorangpun di sana sampai engkau beteriak dan menangis keras tetapi tetap tidak ada yang mendengarmu, bahkan sepertinya lautan pun meninggalkanmu sendirian.

Engkau berfikir lirih bagaimana jika engkau adalah orang lain dan orang lain adalah engkau. Bagaimana jika orang lain mengenakan hati yang kau punya, hidup dengan luka yang kau rasakan, menangis dengan perih yang kau pekik, dan berjalan dengan kepalsuan yang engkau kenakan.

Pilu, suaramu yang tidak terdengar itu terasa sangat dingin sampai menyengat dan membuatku bergidik sedih. Pusat dari galaksi bima sakti ini membenamkan dirinya, dia pun terdiam meninggalkan senyum semu kemerahan.

Aku ingin memelukmu dan berharap dapat mengatakan kalau semuanya akan baik-baik saja. Aku ingin melihat hatimu kembali tersenyum, tetapi aku tak mampu mengatakannya karena aku tahu itu hanya hiburan klise untukmu.

 

Dear Sahabat, “you’re doing great, please stay survive.

Cupcakes & Muffins War

Cupcake v Muffin

 

Dear Muffins,
Where to begin…
Sincerely Cupcakes.

Dear cupcakes,
If you take off your hat, everyone will hate you.
Sincerely, Muffins.

Dear Muffins,
How does it feel being bald?
Sincerely, Cupcakes.

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When You Grow Up

Shawna Erback-カイ-33

You have to let your dreams go a little.
Little by little everyday, little by little in every way.

And sometimes they just go, they are fading away without permission
and you found you were late to save them.

And sometimes you feel they will still always be there and bug you.
‘Cause they know you still want keep them deep down in your heart.
In some way, you feel incomplete without them.
That you need to make them happen just to make you happy.

And sometimes you feel guilty when look at them. You pick it up again.
Try one more time. ‘Cause you know it’s possible. You keep trying.
Running in a circle.

And sometimes you found yourself empty, crash with reality and they have left you alone.
You only wish to keep just one of them, hold it and whispering,
“Don’t leave me, I just wish to keep you in me, only single you.”

Can I just hold this one?

I Wish Things were Different

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You’re here because you know something.
What you know, you can’t explain.
But you feel it.
You felt it your entire life.
That there’s something wrong with the world.
You don’t know what it is, but it’s there.
Like a splinter in your mind – driving you mad.

Morpheus –

Something in this world never change.
Is heartbreaking, knowing that nothing in this universe can change it,
no matter how badly you may want it.
And you only get one life time, then it’s gone in a blink of an eye.

Bilur-bilur Airmata

Aren’t you something to admire,
’cause your shine is something like a mirror

And I can’t help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I’m always parallel on the other side

…………….

Please don’t cry, just because we had to part.
As long as you remember me, I’ll live in your heart.

Do not let your tears fall, for I cannot wipe them all.
I can feel all your pain. So much that, I’m to blame.

…………….

Tetesan air terasa hangat jatuh menyentuh lapisan indra peraba ini, bibirmu bergetar seolah ia tak mampu berucap dan baris demi baris suara hati seolah tertahan enggan untuk mengalir keluar batas liang udara. Tangan ini merasakan perihnya tetesan bilur-bilur dari matamu saat ia menyentuhnya, gumpalan setiap gumpalan menyimpan cerita kelabu dari degup hati yang tak pernah terucap. Hati yang selalu kuat dan penuh dengan warna mungkin sudah tidak mampu menampung gumpalan perih yang telah bersekongkol, sehingga membiarkan mereka menumpahkan diri enggan untuk bertahan lagi.

Bilur-bilur air dari mata yang menyimpan banyak cerita sendu, maafkan aku tidak mampu mengikuti langkahmu. Konstelasi neuron di dalam kepala ini beranjak melarikan diri karena ia hanyalah organ rapuh yang butuh untuk tidak disakiti. Sekalipun neuron-neuron di kepala ini memiliki kekuatan untuk bertahan, namun ia tetap tidak mampu menolak dari rasa sakit. Sama seperti sakit dan perihnya airmatamu yang berjatuhan dan menolak untuk berhenti mengalir.

Getaran suara dari bibir yang menyimpan banyak cerita hati, maafkan aku tidak mampu mengisi kesendirianmu nanti. Mungkin waktulah yang sepatutnya disalahkan karena ia telah mempertemukan dua hati di masa yang tidak sejalan. Biarkanlah bayangan dari kenangan hitam dan putih yang menari bersama, dan masing-masing kita berjalan bersama di parallel yang berbeda.

Cerita kelabu dari degup hati yang tak pernah terucap, maafkan aku yang tidak mampu mendengar bisikan cerita dan tangisan hati.. lagi.. Sesakmu itu, sesakku juga. Dirimu seperti bayangan diriku, yang berdiri dihadapanku saat ini, mengulurkan tangannya untuk saling menggapai namun batas ego dan mimpi seperti kegelapan yang menghalangi.

Menangislah sekarang namun jangan menangis kemudian, bukankah kau berjanji mengantarkan langkahku pergi dengan senyuman? Ceritakanlah kegetiranmu sekarang namun jangan lagi hatimu bergetir kemudian, karena realita adalah hidup di masa sekarang dimana kakimu berpijak. Genggamlah kebahagianmu sekarang dan lepaskanlah kemudian, karena demikianlah seharusnya kebahagiaan, mengambil sebagian dan mengorbankan sebagian, karena ia hanyalah ilusi egoisme semata dan ia hanyalah ilusi putaran biologis yang tidak nyata.

Is There Anybody Out There?

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You can say goodbye, to all the things that you have ever known.
You can say goodbye, and leave inside the life that you have grown.
What’s the point? You try to start from scratch, but get let down.

You can say goodbye, just to realize there’s no-one left around.
So what am I fighting for?

Tell me, is there anybody out there,
Am I swimming through this empty sea alone?
Am I looking for an answer, or am I trying to find a way to get back home?

Is there anybody out there,
Would you hear me if I screamed or if I cried?
I’m looking for an answer, and just trying to find a way to survive.

You can live or die, without the chance to find out what your worth
You can live or die, and never find the one that she’d deserve,
You can walk alone, and live inside the shadows in your heart.

You can say goodbye, or live and find out you’ve been alone right from the start
So what am I fighting for?

Never thought I would end up all alone,
Every day I am feeling further away from home,
I can’t catch my breath, but I am holding on.

Is there anybody out there, is this the last time I have to say goodbye,
Am I staring at my future, is it time to take charge of my life?

– secondhand serenade –

Dream

When-Worlds-Collide-L

Chasing the Milky Way

Somewhere Only We Know

by. KEANE (Max Schneider and Liz Gillies cover)

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Menyengapkan Rindu

And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you
And tonight I’m dreaming of all the things that we’ve been through
And I can’t hold on to you, so I guess I feel lonely too

………………………………..

Bagaimanakah menyengapkan rasa rindu jika ia selalu terjaga dan tak pernah tertidur ataupun pergi meninggalkanku? Aku menyembunyikannya dibalik kegelapan malam hingga dinding-dinding di ruangan ini bertanya-tanya, namun dia tetap di sana. Aku membagikannya kepada langit dan kepada semesta, segenggam demi segenggam berharap perlahan kemudian dia menghilang, namun dia tetap di sana. Aku mengacuhkannya dengan tawa, cerita dan senyuman, agar dia kemudian kesepian dan pergi meninggalkan aku, namun dia tetap ada di sana. Aku memberikannya air mata dan melepaskan genggaman tangan ini agar dia pergi, namun dia tetap ada dan diam di sana.

Adakah curahan yang belum engkau utarakan, pelukan yang  belum engkau sampaikan, kehangatan yang belum engkau rengkuh? Adakah matamu berteriak, tubuhmu meringis kedinginan, setiap sel tubuhmu bergejolak mencari bayangan yang tidak pernah kau temukan?

Rindu, mengapa engkau tetap diam di sana, duduk sendiri di sudut kegelapan hati ini dan enggan untuk pergi?

Setiap hari, aku hanya mampu memelukmu dan berbisik agar dirimu dapat bertahan satu hari lagi, menunggu waktu dan menunggu setiap keping hati ini membentuk dirinya yang baru, sehingga engkau bisa perlahan menghilang dan terbebas pergi. Di masa itu akulah yang akan merindukanmu dan mencari dirimu yang sudah menghilang tanpa mengucapkan selamat tinggal.

Shadow

No matter how much you want to run, the shadow will always follow.
They’ll disappear at night, when days come they shown again.

Writing

letter

“Writing can heal wounds of the soul.”

Human Brains Are Built to Fall in Love

What do your dainty eyeteeth mean for your love life?

Human behavior varies a lot. As compared with other primates, we’re heavily influenced by culture, religion, family upbringing, and so forth. As a consequence, it’s logical to conclude that our fitful monogamy is purely culturally induced and not instinctual. (On the other hand, we readily seem to accept that promiscuous tendencies are wired into our brains.)

In fact, we are programmed to pair bond—just as we’re programmed to add notches to our belts. By programmed, I mean that our brains are set up so that we engage in these behaviors with a lower threshold of enticement than we would otherwise. Both these programs serve our genes, as does the tension between them. For example, on average, we stay bonded long enough to fall in love with a kid, who then benefits from two caregivers. Then we may easily grow restless and seek out novel genes in the form of another partner. Italian research, for example, reveals that our racy “honeymoon neurochemistry” typically wears off within two years.

Pair bonding is not simply a learned behavior. If there weren’t neural correlates behind this behavior, there would not be so much falling in love and pairing up across so many cultures. The pair-bonding urge is built-in and waiting to be activated, much like the program that bonds infants with caregivers. In fact, these two programs arise in overlapping parts of the brain and employ the same neurochemicals.* The Coolidge Effect (that sneaky tendency to habituate to a familiar sex partner and yearn for a novel one) is also a program. The fact that these programs often dominate one another doesn’t alter the fact they both influence us.

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Alone Journey

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“Anything we fully do is an alone journey.”― Natalie Goldberg

Kamu

Malam ini aku melihat bintang, sinar itu terbang sepintas dan kemudian pergi menghilang. Kemanakah engkau pergi, bintang? Adakah dunia yang lebih baik di balik selimut langit malam yang menutupi dunia yang abu-abu ini? Mungkin ini masamu untuk pergi, seperti bintang lain yang diam di langit sana, yang hanya pergi jika belahan bumi menepi dari masa berputarnya, dan menunggu masanya. Coretan ini bukan soal kelabunya langit malam karena satu bintang telah pergi, namun aku ingin mengingat kamu, sebelum ingatan ini kembali memainkan permainan cantiknya, menyembunyikan kenangan dan kemudian membawanya pergi dan tak mampu diingat lagi.

Aku ingin menuliskan soal kamu, seorang kesatria dalam dongeng, kesatria dari masa yang berbeda. Bukan karena salah jaman ini, bukan, ini hanyalah kesalahan dari gelombang kepastian yang telah menetapkan masa dan kejadian semaunya. Aku berharap bisa menghadirkan senyum dalam tangis kering malammu, ketika kamu merasa tenggelam dalam kesendirian perjuangan yang melelahkan pikiranmu. Mungkin inilah masamu, masa untuk selalu diingat dalam setiap hati yang tertolong.

Aku ingin menuliskan soal kamu, seorang yang hebat dan dikagumi, kamu yang mereka sebut sebagai pahlawan, ya pahlawan untuk hidup mereka dan juga hidupku. Pahlawan yang tertatih dalam dua dunia yang tidak bersahabat, pahlawan dengan senyum hangat dan pemikiran hebat. Mungkin mereka sebut aku ini beruntung karena engkau mengijinkan aku menjadi saksi akan perjalananmu dan juga saksi dari tangis airmatamu.

Aku ingin menuliskan soal kamu, seorang yang pernah mengisi hari-hariku dengan tawa dan senyuman, dengan rajutan cerita demi cerita, yang indah untuk dikenang. Manis, hangat dan berwarna.

Aku ingin menuliskan soal kamu, …

 

 

Aku ingin menuliskan soal kamu, karena seharusnya tulisan ini menjadi cerita yang bergulir tak berujung, karena begitu banyak cerita yang berputar dalam alam pikiran ini. Tapi jari-jari ini seolah terkaku dan berhenti mengerakkan sendi-sendinya, mungkin mereka malu atau mereka sedang menangis..

Grow Old With You – Adam Sandler

It could be so nice, growing old with you..

“Good bye, dear you..”

"At the end of what is called the "sexual life" the only love which has lasted is the love which has everything, every disappointment, every failure and every betrayal, which has accepted even the sad fact that in the end there is no desire so deep as the simple desire for companionship.” Graham Greene

“At the end of what is called the “sexual life” the only love which has lasted is the love which has everything, every disappointment, every failure and every betrayal, which has accepted even the sad fact that in the end there is no desire so deep as the simple desire for companionship.” Graham Greene

Aku melangkah pergi menjauh di persimpangan yang mengharuskan kita berpisah.

Hidup terkadang terasa aneh, bukan? Ketika jalan ini mempertemukan aku dan kamu seolah semuanya mempunyai tujuan yang indah namun cerita ini pada akhirnya berakhir. Di sini.. Kita bertemu kembali, tertawa bersama, kemudian saling mengucapkan kata perpisahan. Aku tidak akan pergi dengan tangisan seperti dahulu di persimpangan pertama kali kita berpisah, aku mau  melepaskan gandengan tangan ini dengan senyuman kemudian melanjutkan perjalanan kembali. Aku akan selalu ingat beratnya mata ini melangkah untuk melepaskan pandangan pada wajah masing-masing, seolah tidak ingin semuanya berlalu begitu saja menjadi puing-puing cerita yang terkubur dan gemanya tidak terdengar. Cerita yang sulit untuk dirangkaikan kembali ataupun ditorehkan dalam kata-kata manis, cerita yang terlalu indah untuk tetap tersimpan maupun diteruskan, karena kata tamat seharusnya berakhir bahagia, ya.. cukup di sini saja, tamat, sehingga cerita indah ini tidak bergulir kelabu.

Dalam lapisan memory ini terkadang masih mendengar sayup langkah kakimu berjalan kembali mendekat, namun wajahku tidak dapat menemukan dirimu, mungkin hanya suara dari bayangan kita yang tidak mau berpisah. Kutorehkan tanda di jalan persimpangan tempat kita berpisah, karena aku tidak akan mengucapkan selamat tinggal sampai ketiga kalinya. Yang aku tahu kamu akan hidupi perjalananmu sesuai dengan mimpimu, dan bayang-bayang hidupmu akan menjadi percikan inspirasi untuk melanjutkan perjalanan ini. “Good bye, dear you..”

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man … living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

― George Carlin

He loves you

Like a fool

It’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust.
There’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are.
Sometimes, love just aint enough.

Life

ImageSometimes I dream of touch and colors, and the life still full of magic.

But it’s not. There just soda pop bubbles.

If there be God — please forgive me

Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love — and now become as the most hated one — the one — You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone… Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.

So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?

Mother Teresa
— addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated

Why Do We Even Bother in Life?

No matter how much money we are able to make, how many lives we are able to save, nor how much pleasure we had when we were alive, it will all be lost and gone when we die. Additionally, in the very end, physics states that the universe will end and all life will be extinguished from the universe. As a result, all our efforts, achievement and impact we have no matter how small or big will be erased forever.

Therefore, why do we even need to live? Our presence here on earth is nothing compared to the vastness of the universe. Even if we are somehow able to eliminate world hunger, start a space colony and discover all the secrets of the universe, all of our culture, technology, and cities will be wiped out from the face of the universe never to be seen again by any other sapient creatures or “things” we may not even be able comprehend caused by the next big bang, if there is even going to be one.

In addition, our impact to civilization/society itself is infinitesimally small. There are around 7 billion people in the world and around 155,000 people die in one day. A single life almost means nothing. Additionally, even if we continue living, we are very likely to have very little, if not any impact towards anything in society. And as stated before, even if we are able to somehow positively impact humanity itself, in the end, all of our efforts will be lost forever.

Here’s something to consider: Suppose there was a universe before the beginning of the big bang that contains sapient life. If this civilization had master the art of science and could create utopias and biologically program its citizens to receive unlimited pleasure; in the end, all of its effort would not be more significant to us than another civilization that had destroyed itself. If both civilization have equal significance to us or anything in the present, why do we even have to exist?

So why do we even bother to live? In the end, no matter if you live or die, our existence will be gone.

– beamthegreat – philosophyforums

Hanya Sebuah Coretan Untukmu

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“Everybody’s Changing”

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it, I don’t see how you can
You’re aching, you’re breaking and I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody’s changing, and I don’t know why

So little time, try to understand that I’m
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody’s changing, and I don’t feel the same

You’re gone from here, and soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light, cause everybody’s changing, and I don’t feel right

– Keane –

………………………………..

Senyuman manis dan sambutan hangat bergulir dalam jalannya waktu berubah menjadi kekakuan. Berapa banyak topengkah yang kau gunakan? Aku dan kamu saling melihat dari kejauhan, saling berharap dapat memberikan sentuhan dukungan dan rangkulan sahabat. Sudah berapa jauhkah hati ini terpisahkan?

Tawa kebahagiaan dan warna-warni kehidupan bagaikan putaran film di masa lalu, aku dan kamu dipisahkan oleh tembok-tembok asumsi dan jarak perbatasan untuk saling bertahan. Tidak ada lagi sahabat, aku dan kamu hanyalah orang asing yang bertegur sapa dan bertukar topeng. Mesin-mesin jaman menghiasi detik-detik yang berputar berharap dapat mengisi kehangatan yang hilang, namun aku dan kamu sama-sama tahu jiwa yang sudah terpisahkan ini tidak dapat digantikan.

Entah sejak kapan aku dan kamu saling mengisi jarak, memproteksi diri dengan dalih dan menghiasi wajah ini dengan kedok. Entah sejak kapan aku dah kamu saling membohongi pikiran dan mengkhianati kenangan.

Mata ini sudah tidak melihat dunia dalam 7 warna. Telinga ini sudah menjauh dari frekuensi yang seharusnya. Jiwa ini sudah tidak terpaut dengan jiwamu. Aku dan kamu menjauh dan membatasi diri menuju dimensi yang berbeda. Tidak ada yang salah, mungkin hati inilah yang sudah menolak terlebih dahulu untuk bergandengan.

Dear kamu, aku bisa merasakan rindumu yang tidak pernah terucapkan itu, dan aku hanya mampu mengulurkan tanganku dalam bayangan keabuan yang dinamakan kenangan.

Aku merindukanmu..

You Were Born in a Prison

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You were already in a prison. You’ve been in a prison all your life. Happiness is a prison. Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.

Your lover lived in the penitentiary that we are all born into, and was forced to rake the dregs of that world for his living. He knew affection and tenderness but only briefly. Eventually, one of the other inmates stabbed him with a cutlass and he drowned upon his own blood.

Is that it? Is that the happiness worth more than freedom? It’s not an uncommon story.

Many convicts meet with miserable ends. Your mother. Your father. Your lover. One by one, taken out behind the chemical sheds… and shot. All convicts, hunched and deformed by the smallness of their cells, the weight of their chains, the unfairness of their sentences.

You’re in a prison. You were born in a prison. You’ve been in a prison so long, you no longer believe there’s a world outside.

That’s because you’re afraid. You’re afraid because you can feel freedom closing in upon you. You’re afraid because freedom is terrifying. Don’t back away from it.

Part of you understands the truth even as part pretends not to. You were in a cell.

– Alan Moore, V for Vendetta –

That is the point. There is no escape. And we wake up again everyday like it would be a new game .

Isn’t it ironic?

Isn’t it ironic; when you know something is wrong, but there’s nothing you can do to change it.

Isn’t it ironic; when there are so many things that stuck in your head, but you can’t say it.

Isn’t is ironic; you are everyone’s best friend, but no one’s at the same time.

Isn’t it ironic; when you know that you should get out from these shits, but you can’t.

Destiny that knows no equal.

This Is How I Feel

If only you knew how I feel for you;

how I feel when everytime I meet you

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how I feel when I see your smile

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how I feel when you’re holding me tight

Dandelions under sun rays. Close up.

how I feel when you kiss me

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how I feel when you hold my hand so tight and we walk into the clouds turn the day into the night

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and how I feel when you are gone

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Where are “you”

Saat Bahagia itu Sederhana

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Aku masih ingat betapa senangnya aku berdiri di barisan bersama dengan teman-teman yang lain, kami menunggu susu coklat dingin yang ditaruh pada cup kecil, rasanya sangat enak berbeda dengan susu yang biasa dibuatkan oleh mamaku. Aku tersenyum lebar menenggak susu coklat dingin dan selalu merasa kurang. Kegirangan dan tawa, bukan karena rasa susu coklat dingin itu begitu enak, bukan. Tapi rasa dan pengharapan akan hal-hal biasa. Saat bahagia itu sederhana.

Ketika bel berbunyi kami semua berlarian, menuju jalan surga di depan pintu gerbang, ya jalan dengan sederet makanan dan mainan, dimana aku harus memilih salah satu diantaranya, karena mamaku hanya memberikan selembar uang bertuliskan angka satu dengan 3 buah angka nol. Gula-gula kapas yang bergulung dan semakin membesar, bola-bola rasa ikan goreng dengan saus merahnya, es serut yang dibentuk dengan sirup warna merah, hijau dan coklatnya. Continue reading

Hold Me

Lets run away and be fly together

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“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.”
― Leonardo da Vinci ―

One shot at life

I’ll go out there and make my mistakes. I’ll fall down, get hurt, cry, laugh, love, and get back up. I’ll stand on the highest mountaintop and go into the deepest caverns. I’ll roam across the world, visit the moon and swim in outer space. I’ll let my imagination run wild and let my spirit soar. Why? Because when my life flashes before my eyes in those final moments, I want to have something worthwhile to watch, with plenty of love and laughter, good times and bad. I don’t want to regret a thing and I plan not to. Remember, it’s not usually the things you do that you regret, it’s the things you don’t do and leave unsaid. Laugh out loud. Cry in the rain. Love with all your heart and soul. Get hurt. Tell the truth. Go crazy. But never forget that you only get one shot. One shot at this day, one shot at this minute. One shot at this age. One shot at life. So make sure your life is one you will enjoy watching in your final moments.

— ANNA FLOYD

Life – It Goes On

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Semuanya seperti lelucon bukan? Diri ini dan alam ini seperti dipemainkan oleh nasib. Apa yang salah? Ketika aku menghabiskan malam-malamku dengan sejuta pemikiran yang berputar satu sama lain, seperti bintang-bintang di langit yang terus berputar dalam setiap masanya. Aku terkagum dengan rahasia semesta yang tidak kunjung habisnya, memerangkap diriku sendiri dalam suatu ilusi kebenaran. Ketika diri ini tersadar dan menapakkan pijakan kakiku pada realita, semuanya tidak seindah putaran bintang-bintang di langit. Ketika rahasia alam perlahan terungkap, setiap jiwa hanyalah seonggok mesin yang hidup. Kehidupan menjadi kebetulan yang berharga untuk dijalani dengan senyuman.

Dunia nyata, tempat orang-orang terlepas dari sistem, adalah khayalan. Dunia di dalam sistem adalah kenyataan. Dunia nyata tidak pernah ada, karena selama aku hidup, aku menginjakan kakiku pada sistem. Harus sampai.. berapa.. lama.. lagi..?

Dan semuanya tetaplah seperti lelucon, ketika kenyataan mengatakan diri ini akan terus terikat dalam dunia di dalam sistem dan mengetahui hidup yang seperti inilah yang berharga untuk dijalani. Umpatan terburukpun tidak cukup untuk mengungkapkan rasa di alam pemikiran ini.

Kehidupan ini akan terus berputar sebagaimana seharusnya, seolah diri ini harus menyerah dengan sistem, dengan realita. Anganku akan tetap terjaga. Jika mesin kehidupan ini berhenti, akankah aku mengakhirinya dengan senyuman?

To Be Invisible

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Dear Moon,

I want to be invisible, sometimes.

‘Cause life feels like a bitch at some moment.

– Me –

It’s Kind of Like Love

“Not sure. As some have argued, God exists but is not knowable. Which does make sense, given the complexity of the universe and limits of human understanding and knowledge. Some have claimed that we do have access to that dimension, where God is, through logic. Or perhaps intuition or faith. That makes sense to me, that there may be ways that we can get a glimpse of something so grand when our reasoning can not quite help us get there. And some have argued that God does not exist, which I disagree with. I’m in the agnostic/spiritual position in search of personal evidence for God, open to all kinds of experiences, feelings, and thoughts, knowing that this kind of exploration and search is both very frightening and very exhilarating. Intuitively, I feel God but I’m not sure at all. I keep waiting for further signs. It’s like trying to find a way to reach the center of life and existence. I’m aware of the many religions and their conceptions of God, of life, of existence. I also do think that some people have glimpsed God, but that language often times fails to capture God. I remember reading a book by a geologist who had on several occasions felt the presence of God, and the difficulty he had in accepting it and then difficulty yet in proving to others that the experience felt genuine to him and he was completely sure of it. I do find it quite frustrating that reason and logic may not be enough for me to reach God. And I understand that people may feel very paranoid about trusting their feelings, because they can be manipulated. But the same thing with reasoning though. We can spend hours debating something and not reach a satisfying conclusion. The reason is that in philosophy we also have to make certain assumptions before debate and each assumption can be challenged and this can go on forever. So tell me something you really believe in, something you’ve reached through reasoning and I can challenge that, and you can’t completely defend your view.

When I see people make quite persuasive logical arguments for completely opposite views, or for views that don’t make sense to me (i.e. the view that this hand is not my hand or that I don’t exist or that I’m a brain in a vat or whatever), I realize that reason is not enough. And when I see my own eyes deceive me, through magic tricks, optical illusions, my own subjectivity (perceiving only that which I expect to see, paying attention to the wrong thing, my own biological makeup and social upbringing affecting how I see things and which evidence I attend to), I also realize that empiricism is not enough. But how to trust intuition or feelings only, as they too have deceived me? But there is no way around it.

We are human beings, we have senses and a brain, and we perceive and understand reality in a particular way, the essence of which is shared, and yet there is enough variation for all kinds of views and theories. Is it even possible to imagine reality, life, or God, objectively? I don’t think so. We’re imprisoned in this view. It’s like being imprisoned in a black and white room since infancy. Can you imagine what color would or should look like? We’re squares searching for a triangular God. But perhaps God is a circle, a cube. Or a shape along axes unfamiliar to us. Or maybe not even a shape.

Whether God is all powerful, whether He or She or It changes and grows with us human beings, whether the world is part of God or He is separate from it, it’s hard to tell. I’m certainly leaning towards attempting to reach God through intuition and feeling because as fallible as they are, they’re the only way through which I imagine, I can potentially reach God. Because I can not imagine any argument or any evidence presented to me would be enough to tell me God does or does not exist. Even if a big light suddenly started talking to people, telling He was God (I would imagine I have gone insane). And not a book with 200 arguments for God’s existence. It’s kind of like love. Once you’re in love, you know it. Yet you can be fooled and misled at times, but upon further examination of how you feel, you will know. But writing a list won’t tell you. Reasoning won’t tell you for sure. In other words, reasoning and observation are helpful but at the end of the day, you have to trust your intuition. That someone brought you flowers and seeing that as evidence for love, won’t tell you. Spending a lot of money on someone is not necessarily love nor is saying “I love you” a hundred times a day. It’s a process, and may take a long time and involve breakups and heartache, periods where there is hostility, pain, tears, but then somehow you will know. I understand this makes little logical sense to some, but this is my position.”

archaics

Langit Hari Ini dan Engkau

Blue Sky wallpaper

Aku suka langit hari ini, menyejukan mata yang melihatnya. Aku dapat menangkap warna kebiruan yang terpantul dari warna dasar lautan, awan-awan yang beriringan terasa begitu ramah dan meneduhkan, bahkan aku bisa melihat bayang-bayang pegunungan di kejauhan. Aku terpesona dengan langit hari ini dan berusaha untuk menaruhnya dalam memori di kepala ini, agar aku tidak melupakan keindahan alam yang diberikan oleh semesta di tengah kesemrautan dunia.

Aku mengangkat tangan kananku kepada langit, berusaha menyentuh keindahan yang sangat jauh di atas sana. Adakah engkau di sana? Setiap melihat langit aku selalu merindukanmu, merindukan engkau ada dalam delusi pikiran ini dan sedang melihatku dari atas sana. Merindukan aliran darah dalam organ-organ tubuh ini memberikan sensasi emosional akan keberadaanmu. Keberadaanmu selalu menghibur, menyenangkan, memberi rasa aman, namun keberadaanmu juga memberikan diri ini keraguan, kekuatiran dan ketakutan.

Ketika gerakan partikel-partikel atom sudah kehilangan keajaibannya, bersamaan dengan itulah engkau pergi, tidak pernah ada lagi di langit luas. Engkau pergi tergantikan oleh gelombang kepastian yang tidak dapat dihindari, dirimu kalah oleh permainan rasionalisasi otak dan perubahan warisan populasi organisme dalam setiap generasi. Ketika ruang dan waktu menjadi tidak terbatas, batasan antara realita dan ilusi hanya setipis helai untaian benang, dirimu menghilang, aku melepaskan tanganku kepada langit dan meninggalkan engkau.

Kini berjalan di bawah langit tidak bersama dengan dirimu lagi, tetapi aku berjalan bersama dengan harmoninasi semesta yang bergerak semakin membesar, menjauh, dan terus menciptakan bintang-bintang baru untuk menemani langit malamku. Ketika aku mengangkat tanganku kepada langit, pikiranku tersadar dan aku tahu diri ini tidak sedang ingin mengapaimu, tetapi aku ingin mengapai rumahku di atas sana.

Perjalanan ini tidak lagi mengandeng tangan semu yang tidak kasat mata tetapi menyambut uluran tangan yang nyata, mengandeng aku untuk berjalan bersama dengan senyuman. Menatap langit, meraih bintang, mengarungi semesta dan membuat hidup yang sebentar saja kelihatan lalu lenyap ini jauh lebih berharga.

Welcome To My Life – Simple Plan

Absolutely love this song, never gets old :)

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Try to Fly

IMG-20121203-01019 copy

You can’t fly, no matter how hard you try. A small piece of this puzzle is missing.

Realistic Love

I love you with all my brain: laying aside the intellectually dull sword of biological determinism. – James C. Woodson

Never Forsake Your Determinism

FindYourDream
The moon may cry that you are a hapless lover
and there is not one passion worth living for:
every flower that grows is doomed to wilt,
every light that glows is destined to fade,
and every love, ever real, will gradually deteriorate.
Nevertheless, I cry unto you and only you
to love on long and strong and true
and never relinquish your passion
Even if you defy love, you will acquire love
Even if you denounce love, you will inspire love
Even if you resist, you yield.
.
The sun may cite that you are a hopeless dreamer
and there is not one vision worth striving for: Continue reading

Aku Terbangun dan Kembali Tertidur

Ferris_wheel__Click_for_full__by_BumbleBeesh

Aku terbangun, dalam kehidupan nyata.
Tidak ada harapan dan mimpi, yang aku punya hanya hari ini.

Aku tertidur, dalam kematian semu.
Tidak tidak ada lagi hari ini, yang aku punya menjadi harapan dan mimpi.

Setiap malam sebelum memejamkan mata, isi dalam kepala ini menyarukan antara realita dan mimpi. Aku berharap hari yang kupunya pada detik ini tidak hilang dan menyatu dengan mimpi. Diri ini ingin memanggil kembali ingatan-ingatan yang terhapus, namun dayaku hanyalah seonggok pikiran dilapisi dengan daging dan tengkorak. Setiap ingatan bagai serbuk-serbuk emas yang terbang tertiup angin, aku hanya mampu mengambil seggengam, dua genggam, tiga genggam.. Tidak lebih. Hasratku ingin mengenggam dan memeluk sebanyaknya agar mereka tidak pergi meninggalkan aku sendiri.

Mungkin inilah yang diinginkan semesta, agar aku hanya menggenggam sebagian. Mejalani putaran hari-hariku sebagaimana seharusnya, mengingat apa yang perlu diingat dan melupakan apa yang seharusnya terlupakan. Membiarkan kenyataan menyatu dengan mimpi-mimpi.

Atau semesta ingin aku melepaskan semuanya dan memandangi emas-emas berterbangan di langit luas. Mengingatkanku agar melupakan segala apa yang kugenggam hari ini karena semuanya semu dan terbang bersama angin.

Bagaimana jika kenyataan ternyata hanyalah mimpi, dan aku hidup dari mimpi ke mimpi, tidak ada yang nyata. Bagaimana jika kenyataan adalah perspektif dari pikiran ini melihat kehidupan, dan kenyataan sesungguhnya tidak nyata?

Why can’t there just be good?

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Everyone is a good person — who has been programmed to act in a certain manner.

Why can’t there just be good?

Distance – Christina Perri (feat. Jason Mraz)

I wish we would just give up, ’cause the best part is falling. Call it anything but love.

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Hidup Setelah Kematian

By: @agamajinasi
Made my tears fall like drops of rain. Post it here, a reminder to be brave.

———–

“Kemana kamu setelah mati?” Pertanyaan ini sepertinya jadi pertanyaan andalan kaum agama buat atheis.

Mereka pikir mereka punya sesuatu yang atheis tidak punya dan bangga dengan hal itu.

Saya tidak tau dengan kamu, tapi dulu saya memikirkan pertanyaan tersebut bertahun2.

Kalo kamu pikir saya tidak mau percaya ada kehidupan setelah kematian, kamu salah besar kawan.

Siapa sih yg gak mau menjalani hidup selamanya dengan orang2 yang kita kasihi?

Dan jujur, sebesar apapun keinginan saya tentang hal tersebut, saya lebih menginginkan memperoleh kebenaran.

Apa saya harus percaya kesaksian orang2 yg hampir mati? Maunya sih begitu. Tapi di tiap agama ada orang2 yang seperti itu.

Kalo di tiap agama ada kesaksian soal kematian, gak mungkin semuanya benar kan?

Pernah berdoa, berpuasa berkali-kali. Gak mungkin yang namanya tuhan gak kasih jawaban kan? Apalagi untuk urusan akhirat.

Beberapa kali pernah berpuasa, serasa mengarungi alam lain. Orang bilangnya dunia ruh, dimensi ke empat, alam gaib.

Setelah belajar fisiologi di kuliah baru sadar, siapapun yang puasa beberapa hari memang mengalami efek halusinasi.

Efek halusinasi yang mirip sewaktu orang mengkonsumsi mushrooms, cimeng, lsd atau ecstasy. Jadi apa bedanya?

Apa kamu pikir saya tidak takut, ketika mendapati semuanya ternyata hanya imajinasi belaka?

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Unveil Me Completely

I wish, that you could see the real me
not hidden by the facade of a name, not concealed behind a locked heart.

Unveil me completely
There’s no need to mask my frailty
A perfect tapestry
Cause you see the real me
I just wanna be me
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see

Don’t be fooled by beauty, the light of the face comes from the candle of the spirit.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Let it Rain

The best thing one can do when it’s raining, is to let it rain

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.

– Ashley Smith –

Melepas Kebahagiaan

Kebahagiaan sejati hanyalah fatamorgana, sesuatu yang tidak pernah nyata, tidak pernah ada, dia selalu menjauh setiap kali engkau sudah begitu dekat menggapainya. Kebahagiaan akan segera pergi dan mengilang ketika engkau sudah tersadar dari kemabukanmu. Hanya orang mabuk yang merasakan kebahagiaan sejati itu nyata, mereka membiarkan dirinya terikat dalam ilusi mimpi yang tidak pernah ada. Ketika ilusi mulai menghilang, kebahagiaan akan pergi dan meninggalkan engkau yang kehilangan.

Mabuk itu  nikmat, dan ketika dia pergi dalam kondisi sadarmu engkau akan bergidik mencarinya kembali, mencari sumber-sumber kebahagiaan itu datang kembali. Menyedihkan? Ya, menyedihkan. Aku sudah tidak mengenal kebahagiaan sejati lagi, dia sudah pergi. Karena pikiran ini selalu menjaga dirinya untuk tetap sadar.

Yang aku tahu sekarang ada rasa bahagia ketika disetiap senyum dan sapaan yang diberikan. Rasa bahagia di setiap tawa-tawa kecil yang terbagi. Rasa bahagia di tengah tawa terbahak sampai membuat air mata ini mengalir.

Yang aku tahu sekarang ada rasa bahagia ketika dalam keheningan. Rasa bahagia di setiap cerita tak bersuara. Rasa bahagia di tengah hembusan nafas kelegaan.

Yang  aku tahu sekarang ada rasa bahagia dalam setiap nyanyian. Rasa bahagia di setiap langkah lari kecil ini. Rasa bahagia di tengah lompatan perjalanan.

Yang aku tahu sekarang ada rasa bahagia dalam setiap ekspresi yang jujur. Rasa bahagia di setiap kebaikan yang disalurkan. Rasa bahagia di tengah pelukan yang tak sempat terbagi.

Mereka berkata akupun mabuk ilusi, tetapi aku berkata ada rasa bahagia dalam kesadaran, dalam realita, dalam setiap kebenaran yang ditemukan. Aku tidak mabuk, karena aku berani beranjak dan melangkah. Aku tidak mabuk, karena aku tidak takut melepaskan sumber-sumber kemabukan itu. Aku tidak mabuk, karena aku menatap setiap kemungkinan dan mendobrak semua batas untuk mencari jalan yang seharusnya. Aku tidak mabuk, karena aku tidak menutup mata hatiku dengan ketakutan akan kenyataan.

Beranikah dirimu?

Panggil aku, BANGSAT!

Aku membuka mataku, masih di sini, duduk di atas onggokan kardus bekas dengan seuntai kain membalut tubuhku. Ya, aku masih di sini dengan gelas kaleng andalanku yang kuletakan di depan tubuhku memohon belas kasihan orang-orang mampu memberikan koin-koin buangan yang tidak mereka butuhkan. Aku terbangun karena silaunya terik cahaya putih di pagi hari dengan bau busuk yang tidak mampu dihilangkan lagi, aku di sini duduk tak berdaya dengan kondisi tak berkaki.

Panggil aku bangsat, karena nama panggilan itulah yang selalu aku ingat sampai kini. Nama yang membuat aku kehilangan kedua kakiku, ya aku bangsat.

Di tengah hiruk pikuk lautan manusia, aku datang ke kota ini untuk membuktikan diri. Suara cerobong asap berlomba dengan degup jantungku yang kencang, menanti tantangan yang akan kuhadapi. Aku sangat gagah saat itu, sosok sempurna yang terakhir kali dapat kuingat. Kota laknat ini sudah memakan habis harga diriku dan daging-daging ditubuhku. Setiap hari aku berlomba dengan waktu dan suara di dalam perutku, mengandalkan pikiranku yang terbatas ini untuk berjuang hidup 1 hari lagi. Aku tidak dapat mengandalkan siapapun karena semua manusia sama bangsat-nya dengan diriku. Semua orang berfikir untuk dirinya sendiri dan berjuang untuk menyelamatkan dirinya sendiri. Aku hebat dan jagoan, demikian pikirku, darah dan pukulan sudah menjadi cemilan sehari-hari. Hidup yang aku banggakan sekejap hilang, saat kaki ini sudah tidak ada lagi, semua ego dan kebanggaan-ku seolah ikut pergi.

Terakhir aku gegabah, aku bodoh, aku menyesali kebodohanku karena aku datang ke kota laknat ini. Mereka memukuli aku, sungguh mati aku sudah minta ampun berkali-kali, hanya karena aku mengambil uang di lahan parkir wilayah preman kampung itu dan dia meneriaki ku maling. Tubuh ini mati rasa, menyerah oleh banyaknya memar dan kekacauan orang-orang yang memukuli aku. Aku hanya mampu berteriak berkali-kali agar mereka menghentikan pukulan mereka. Kemudian polisi itu datang, ya polisi sialan itu, aku tidak akan lupa. Dia berteriak menanggilku bangsat kemudian menembaki kedua kakiku. Suara tembakan membuat telinga ini tuli, sekujur tubuh ini mati rasa. Aku terhipnotis oleh permainan pikiran membuatku terbang ke awang-awang. Continue reading

Ad Astra Per Aspera!

Ad Astra Per Aspera!

“A rough road leads to the stars”

Persimpangan

Sekarang, disinilah aku berdiri. Persimpangan..

Entah sudah berapa banyak persimpangan aku lewati. Melihat tanda, mencari jejak, mengumpulkan informasi, pada akhirnya aku harus memilih salah satu jalan.

Terkadang persimpangan membawa aku menemukan jalan buntu, membuat aku harus kembali menapaki jalan yang sudah aku lalui, kembali melihat jejak-jejakku yang tertinggal dan kembali tersenyum ketika segala rasa yang terlupa kembali memainkan melodinya. Kebingungan yang pernah aku alami sudah tidak seberapa lagi, sakitnya kaki melangkah sudah tidak seberapa lagi, luka dan goresan alam sudah tidak seberapa lagi, airmata keheningan sudah tidak seberapa lagi, letih dan keringat ini sudah tidak seberapa lagi. Jejak yang sama terkadang harus kembali dilalui, ini lebih baik dari sekedar berdiri termangu pada jalan yang buntu.

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Answering Questions

If you could move anywhere in the world tomorrow where would you go? Why?

Other universe haha. Or just go to new zealand become a pig farmer lol. Such a dreamer.. Sigh..

 

If you had unlimited funds and never had to work again, what would you spend your life doing?

I’ll be a savior, make poverty just a history. And tell the world “Shame on your (imaginary) god!”

Dancing With a Tornado

Dancing in the rain are way to mainstream, now I’m dancing with a tornado in my brain

Untitled

I open my eyes, I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how, I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain, And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me, I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on, As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life, I just wanna scream

Everybody’s screaming, I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge, I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered, And I can’t explain what happened

– untitled –

simple plan

I’ll See You Soon – Nobuo Uematsu

Another my fav! Suteki Da Ne in English.. This song really make me remember when Tidus gone, so saaad saaaad sceneeeee.. X(

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Melodies of Life – Nobuo Uematsu

I Love this song! Bring back old memories when I was a gamer..

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Teddy’s Enlightment

Everyday Teddy wake up in the morning, He has the same question.. Life must be something more than this.. *sigh..

Where I can find the answers? Who am I? Am I just a doll?

Life feels like prison

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Mimpi Kekosongan Mimpi

Antara terang dan gelap, antara siang dan malam, antara hitam dan putih, peperangan abadi terjadi pada semesta.
Bergulir dan terhempas, anak-anak langit dan anak-anak samudra.
Menyatu dalam pertarungan membukakan jejak gerbang menuju kesempurnaan.

Cahaya menerobos kehampaan langit. Menembus awan tipis, menghujam lensa mataku.
Mata ini baru saja menelan bintang.

Sorot jutaan tahun cahaya, mendobrak langit. Menghantam bumi.
Mataku baru saja menangkap benda berumur jutaan tahun. *)

Gugusan awan bergandengan di langit begitu indah, seperti gula-gula kapas dalam mimpiku. Mimpi berjalan dalam gelap bertaburan bintang, langit yang begitu luas sehingga menyesakkan. Aku ingin seperti angin, terbang bebas dan tak terlihat mungkin aku bisa menyentuh gumpalan gugusan awan dan meraih bintangku, atau aku bisa segera berpulang kembali mejadi partikel-partikel bintang tempat yang selama ini menghantui pikiran ini. Semakin jauh aku mencari, semakin aku tenggelam dalam kegelapan, belenggu ini seolah tidak dapat aku lepaskan. Aku sendirian, langit malam adalah sahabat terbaikku, karena dalam gelap aku bisa melihat jelas bintang-bintang itu.

Tawa, kebahagiaan, pesta pora, semua ini seperti lelucon permainan keangkuhan. Aku ingin keluar, keluar dari semua ini, melepaskan rantai yang seolah mengikat pada pergelangan kaki ini.

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Just Asked

My most asked question lately to my friend is, one word

no one have the answer

To Find Someone

To find someone you can feel a strong connection on intelligence, emotional, physical, and even spiritual levels are pretty rare these days. – @catwomanizer

Very rare and not gonna happen twice..

A Real Science of Mind

By TYLER BURGE

In recent years popular science writing has bombarded us with titillating reports of discoveries of the brain’s psychological prowess.  Such reports invade even introductory patter in biology and psychology.  We are told that the brain — or some area of it sees, decides, reasons, knows, emotes, is altruistic/egotistical, or wants to make love.  For example, a recent article reports a researcher’s “looking at love, quite literally, with the aid of an MRI machine.”  One wonders whether lovemaking is to occur between two brains, or between a brain and a human being.

There are three things wrong with this talk.

First, it provides little insight into psychological phenomena.  Often the discoveries amount to finding stronger activation in some area of the brain when a psychological phenomenon occurs.  As if it is news that the brain is not dormant during psychological activity!  The reported neuroscience is often descriptive rather than explanatory.  Experiments have shown that neurobabble produces the illusion of understanding.  But little of it is sufficiently detailed to aid, much less provide, psychological explanation.

The idea that the neural can replace the psychological is the same idea that led to thinking that all psychological ills can be cured with drugs.

Second, brains-in-love talk conflates levels of explanation.  Neurobabble piques interest in science, but obscures how science works.  Individuals see, know, and want to make love.  Brains don’t.  Those things are psychological — not, in any evident way, neural.  Brain activity is necessary for psychological phenomena, but its relation to them is complex.

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The Probabilistic Mind

Human brains evolved to deal with doubt

Humans live in a world of uncertainty. A shadowy figure on the sidewalk ahead could be a friend or a mugger. By flooring your car’s accelerator, you might beat the train to the intersection, or maybe not. Last week’s leftover kung pao chicken could bring another night of gustatory delight or gut agony.

People’s paltry senses can’t always capture what’s real. Luckily, though, the human brain is pretty good at playing the odds. Thanks to the brain’s intuitive grasp of probabilities, it can handle imperfect information with aplomb.

“Instead of trying to come up with an answer to a question, the brain tries to come up with a probability that a particular answer is correct,” says Alexandre Pouget of the University of Rochester in New York and the University of Geneva in Switzerland. The range of possible outcomes then guides the body’s actions.

A probability-based brain offers a huge advantage in an uncertain world. In mere seconds, the brain can solve (or at least offer a good guess for) a problem that would take a computer an eternity to figure out — such as whether to greet the approaching stranger with pepper spray or a hug.

A growing number of studies are illuminating how this certitude-eschewing approach works, and how powerful it can be. Principles of probability, researchers are finding, may guide basic visual abilities, such as estimating the tilt of lines or finding targets hidden amid distractions. Other behaviors, and even simple math, may depend on similar number crunching, some scientists think.

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#JustAQuote

“Spirituality is intensely personal; religion is institutional.” Dean Hamer

“In order to survive, you have to organize yourselves into a culture.” Wilson

I’m On My Way


I will laugh at my journey, cry for the each moments and love it semi-faithfully through the best of appeals and the worse of appeals.

I will keep walking even when the wings of death scatter my days, I will keep running even in our silent memory, but let there be spaces in our togetherness.

Loving what I know, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.

I will cherish each friendship, I’ve given you my hand to hold through our journey ’til we find our star.

I will never give up today, tomorrow and ’til the end of my life sentence, until the stars grow cold and the light lose its shine, until part of me becomes one with the universe.

Nothing But Pitiless Indifference

“ After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with color, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isn’t it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am asked—as I am surprisingly often—why I bother to get up in the mornings.”

“The total amount of suffering per year in the natural world is beyond all decent contemplation. During the minute that it takes me to compose this sentence, thousands of animals are being eaten alive, many others are running for their lives, whimpering with fear, others are slowly being devoured from within by rasping parasites, thousands of all kinds are dying of starvation, thirst, and disease. It must be so. If there ever is a time of plenty, this very fact will automatically lead to an increase in the population until the natural state of starvation and misery is restored. In a universe of electrons and selfish genes, blind physical forces and genetic replication, some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, and you won’t find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The universe that we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but pitiless indifference.”

Richard Dawkins, River Out Of Eden: A Darwinian View Of Life

In Love with Your Mind

It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside. – Tumblr Quote

Ilusi Kesadaran

What if your consciousness are not conscious at all?

Manusia selalu merasa punya kontrol atas dirinya sendiri, memiliki kesadaran dan menganggap diri mahluk yang berbeda dari binatang. Bagaimana jika kontrol dan kesadaran tersebut tidak nyata? Beberapa kepercayaan mengagungkan kesadaran sebagai point utama dalam diri mereka sebagai manusia, sekaligus untuk merasa diri lebih sadar dari orang lain. Kesadaran mengacu pada kondisi sadar, dimana kita mengingat, menyadari keberadaan diri sendiri dan lingkungan sekitar, mengontrol diri sepenuhnya. Dalam beberapa kepercayaan bahkan mengukur membagi tingkat kesadaran dalam level yang berbeda-beda. Semakin tinggi tingkat kesadaran seseorang maka semakin mulia atau semakin bijaklah dia. Pada akhirnya ini semua kembali sebagai alat pemuasan diri manusia untuk merasa berbeda, dan kesadaran ini kembali menjadi obyek yang memuakan.

Dalam beberapa studi mengenai apa yang disebut kesadaran, beberapa ahli berpendapat kalau kesadaran hanyalah ilusi manusia belaka, kesadaran yang diagungkan bukanlah kontrol diri manusia, melainkan fragment imajiner dari visualisasi subyektif seseorang. Richard Dawkins terang-terangan mengatakan “consciousness is an illusions” dalam bukunya God’s Delusion. Susan Blackmore seorang psikologis menuliskan dalam artikenya berjudul “The Grand Illusion of Consciousness” yang dipublish oleh Skeptics Society mengatakan:

Different strands of research on the senses over the past decade suggest that the brave cognitive scientists, psychologists and neuroscientists who dare to tackle the problem of consciousness are chasing after the wrong thing. If consciousness seems to be a continuous stream of rich and detailed sights, sounds, feelings and thoughts, then I suggest this is the illusion.

First we must be clear what is meant by the term “illusion”. To say that consciousness is an illusion is not to say that it doesn’t exist, but that it is not what it seems to be―more like a mirage or a visual illusion. And if consciousness is not what it seems, no wonder it’s proving such a mystery. (The Grand Illusion: Why consciousness exists only when you look for it)

Apa yang dikatakan sebagai kesadaran hanya berdasarkan subjektifitas pribadi. Sebagian besar dari proses yang terjadi pada otak manusia bukanlah bentuk kesadaran. Melainkan proses dari otak manusia yang menciptakan ilusi kesadaran. Bagaimana manusia membanggakan kesadaran jika kesadaran itu hanyalah tipuan otak. Who’s really in control? You or your brain?

Referensi untuk dibaca lainnya:

– Daniel Dannett di Ted: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_dennett_on_our_consciousness.html

– The brain… it makes you think. Doesn’t it? http://old.richarddawkins.net/articles/554-the-mystery-of-consciousness

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if you were to read a cardiology book to learn how your heart pumps, would you feel less alive and more despondently mechanical? I wouldn’t. Understanding the details of our own biological processes does not diminish the awe, it enhances it. Like flowers, brains are more beautiful when you can glimpse the vast, intricate, exotic mechanisms behind them. – David Eagleman

Let Your Life Speak

This was a step into darkness that I had been trying to avoid — the darkness of seeing myself more honestly than I really wanted to. To acknowledge and embrace my own liabilities and limits. Perhaps there is a lesson here about the complexity, even duplicity, we must embrace on the road to vocation, where we sometimes find ourselves needing to do the right thing for the wrong reason. The social systems in which these people must survive often try to force them to live in a way untrue to who they are. But in spite of that threat, or because of it, the people who plant the seeds of movements make a critical decision: they decide to live “divided no more.” They decide no longer to act on the outside in a way that contradicts some truth about them-selves that they hold deeply on the inside. They decide to claim authentic selfhood and act it out — and their decisions ripple out to transform the society in which they live, serving the self-hood of millions of others.

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Randomness

Chaotic, everything is chaos. No matter how hard you’ve tried to find, the answers is in you, back at you, decide by you. Then what’s all about? Always end with the same question. And always have to surrender with the meaningless.

I wonder for so many things, I wish something can happen outside from the cause-effect. I wish for the particles of atom move randomly and create something new, a miracle.

Why are all of these strikes happen? Do you still have the same questions? Are you still at the same path? My eyes are screaming for the sight of the truth..

Sometimes In A Relationship..

Sometimes in a relationship you have to share until your last money, and smiling together when you both have none.. :)

Sometimes in a relationship you need to understand that what you expect is not what has to happen..

Sometimes in a relationship you need to understand that people make mistakes, shares the heavy & walk the failure together.

Sometimes in a relationship when the dark comes you can see your lover better than what you can see in the spot of sunshine..

Sometimes in a relationship, feeling usually fades in time and it doesn’t mean you are no longer in love..

Sometimes in a relationship, you can hurt each other emotionally over time, and relationship turns into relationshit.

Sometimes in a relationship, just a warm hug and simple smile can be a cure for all misery.

Sometimes in a relationship you start to forget who you are & what makes you happy, you get drunk by togetherness.

Sometimes in a relationship, this world not gonna make it easy, we know we both tired, and all night long hugs is enough..

Sometimes in a relationship, you both start as a stranger, shares your life, dreams & passions, then end it the same way; stranger.

Sometimes in a relationship words can fail you, but a kiss won’t ;)

Sometimes in a relationship people are better friends then they was mates.

Sometimes in a relationship the distance makes you realize the true value of each other.

Sometimes in a relationship, you hate each other, but most days you love each other.

Man’s Life Journey

Man’s life is a journey to find the happiness he once felt inside the womb of his mother. – Indian proverbs

Experience the Mysterious

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.”

“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

Albert Einstein

The Universe & My Falling Star

This universe never fail to amaze me. How big, how far and how fast, infinite, all facts & mysteries totally amazingly amazing.

One of the best moments in my life that I will never forget, when I saw a falling star.

I’m not sure it is really a falling star, or a meteor or else. I’ve never seen anything like that before, and yes, not everyone has the chance to see it in a lifetime but I did, and I feel very fortunate.

I wanna see the universes..

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. – Carl Sagan

Before You Claim Any Absolute Truth

Before you judge others or claim any absolute truth, consider that…

… you can see less that 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 kilometers per second across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not “you”. The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colours you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.

Dear Parents

Found @_DearParents_ account on twitter, epic tweets, what a socialist extremist! LOL. I wonder what kind of kid will rise with this kind of education. Rising a child is not that easy. So, I copied some of his tweets, maybe I’ll needed it someday..

DearParents: Shaping your child’s mind is not brainwashing them, it’s guiding them away from capitalist traps and mental poisons.

DearParents: Teach your child how to empower themselves by empowering their community.

DearParents: Motivate your child to ask questions, to question authority, to be critical of society.

DearParents: It’s never too early to teach your child the importance of social justice.

DearParents: Encourage your child to ask questions and you will help them become more inquisitive about their society.

DearParents: Blind obedience is the goal of the corporate educational system; teach your child to challenge the system in clever ways.

DearParents: Build in your child socialist sensibilities; desires for a world in which sharing and caring obliterating hoarding and wanting.

DearParents: Do not spoil your child; spoiling your child does not make you a good parent, it makes you a consumptive person.

DearParents: Deconsumerise your child by teaching them to examine consumerism critically.

DearParents: Teach your child the importance of putting the community ahead of selfish desires.

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What is So Wrong For Being A Nihilist?

Everytime I wake up in the morning, yesterday always feels like a dream, one more dream passed me by. Am I really alive yesterday? You will hard to ensure which one is reality, which one is only your delusions. I think this is the part of game of life, to make sure you’re really alive everyday.

At some point in time, each of us, asking about what life is? Then what life is? What is the meaning of life? What is life about? We all looking for answer, for define our existence, you’ll find many different answers.

Some said, life is a gift from God, to bring his glory and bla bla things, or some said He has purpose for each of us, we have to find out by ourselves. To Platonism, life is in attaining the highest form of knowledge, which is the idea (form) of the good, from which all good and just things derive utility and value. Stocism said life is freedom from suffering through apatheia. Søren Kierkegaard said one can live meaningfully (free of despair and anxiety) in an unconditional commitment to something finite, and devotes that meaningful life to the commitment, despite the vulnerability inherent to doing so. You’ll find many many different point of view about life, about meaning, and how we lived our’s life, so we feel alive.

But, what if you know that everything in this universe happen because it’s meant to happen. “Anything that happens happens, anything that in happening causes something else to happen causes something else to happen and anything that in happening causes itself to happen again, happens again” (Douglas Adams). Everything that happens there are conditions such that, given those conditions, nothing else could happen, determinism. Some kind of fate, we’re simply has no choice and our free will perfectly just an illusion. Our life is just cause-effect reaction from million years process of the formed of universes, from million years process of evolution. There’s no such thing as probabilities, it simply human ability to predict things for his inability to control. Continue reading

Douglas Adams’ speech at Digital Biota 2

Is there an Artificial God?

In honour of Douglas’ memory, Biota.org presents the transcript of his speech at Digital Biota 2, held at Magdelene College Cambridge, in September 1998. I would like to thank Steve Grand for providing this to us. Douglas presented this ”off the cuff” which only magnifies his true genius in our eyes. — Bruce Damer

This was originally billed as a debate only because I was a bit anxious coming here. I didn’t think I was going to have time to prepare anything and also, in a room full of such luminaries, I thought ‘what could I, as an amateur, possibly have to say’? So I thought I would settle for a debate. But after having been here for a couple of days, I realised you’re just a bunch of guys! It’s been rife with ideas and I’ve had so many myself through talking with and listening to people that I’d thought what I’d do was stand up and have an argument and debate with myself. I’ll talk for a while and hope sufficiently to provoke and inflame opinion that there’ll be an outburst of chair- throwing at the end.

Before I embark on what I want to try and tackle, may I warn you that things may get a little bit lost from time to time, because there’s a lot of stuff that’s just come in from what we’ve been hearing today, so if I occasionally sort of go… I was telling somebody earlier today that I have a four-year-old daughter and was very, very interested watching her face when she was in her first 2 or 3 weeks of life and suddenly realising what nobody would have realised in previous ages – she was rebooting!

I just want to mention one thing, which is completely meaningless, but I am terribly proud of – I was born in Cambridge in 1952 and my initials are D N A!

The topic I want to introduce to you this evening, the subject of the debate that we are about to sort of not have, is a slightly facetious one (you’ll be surprised to hear, but we’ll see where we go with it) – ”Is there an Artificial God?” I’m sure most of the people in this room will share the same view, but even as an out-and-out atheist one can’t help noticing that the role of a god has had an enormously profound impact on human history over many, many centuries. It’s very interesting to figure out where this came from and what, in the modern scientific world we sometimes hope against hope that we live in, it actually means.

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He’s Just Not That Into You

If a (sane) guy really likes you, there ain’t nothing that’s going to get in his way.

When a guy is into you, he let’s you know it. Men are not complicated, although they’d like you to think they are.

And sadly, men would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.”

Stop making excuses for men, his actions are screaming the truth: He’s just not that into you.

Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. If they want you, they will find you.

If a guy truly likes you, he won’t keep you guessing, ’cause he’ll want to make sure you don’t go away.

“I don’t want to be your boyfriend” in the dictionary, it still means “I don’t want to be your boyfriend.”

A man who’s really into you is going to want you all to himself.

“I don’t want to be in a serious relationship” truly means “I don’t want to be in a serious relationship with you”

“I don’t want to be in a serious relationship” also means “I’m not sure that you’re the one.”

100% of guys polled said “a fear of intimacy” has never stopped them from getting into a relationship.

Fear of intimacy is an urban myth, that’s just what we say to girls when we’re just not that into them.

People tell you who they are all the time. When a man says he can’t be monogamous, you should believe him.

If he only wants to see you, talk to you, have sex with you, etc., when he’s inebriated, it ain’t love—it’s sport.

Bad boys are actually bad.

Most of men said that when they broke up, it always meant that they didn’t want to go out with them anymore.

If you’re not able to love freely, it’s not really love.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

Why have to spend your precious time with a man who has already rejected you?

– Greg Behrendt –

happiness

Happiness is like a fatamorgana, something that never really there, something distorted, something that never could be approached.

Some people give up their dreams, their passions, and trade their lives in exchange for money so that they can make a living.

You chase for something more, that will never arrived. This the game goes; wanting for more never ends & happiness will always away.

I am not …

I’m not an atheist, nor an agnostic, not even a deist. This Universe is too surprising, here & everywhere, to stick on one label.